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As of January 11, the forums will no longer be available. We thank everyone for their participation. Wife wants "other sexual experiences".
My wife wants "outside sexual experiences". Nothing in "Passionate Marriage" speaks to non-monogamy in any way. I'm looking for advice in the context of differentiation etc. The background, as terse as I can sum Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie up don't hesitate to ask for more or clarification if needed: I've been monogamous with her since.
She's absolutely "hot" again physically. I worked to improve this over the Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie 15 months. It became an overt issue in therapy starting about 4 months ago. Watched her dance extremely Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie long deep soul stares, lots of cheek rubbing, and of course it's salsa so lots of body rubbing!
I started and continue to romance her, every day if possible. I've redoubled efforts to give her extensive foreplay, and worked to improve my sexual techniques as well. Early in therapy, she said clearly she wanted to "have the experiences K had" K is me. After a few sessions I said "okay". She didn't act on it.
Now, out of concern that she might just "jump into something", I've read and have her reading "Opening Up", about open relationships of many types, and we are slowly discussing it.
She says her interest isn't because I'm "not satisfying her", but because "I haven't had anyone else, you have, and I'm not getting younger, I'd like to try it".
When we dive into "in what context", she of course? I reply "but that's not at all what I had, I consciously made sure I did NOT enter any romantic relationship, I didn't want that to get in the way of our relationship, I was "just" getting sex when there wasn't any with you".
A very "works for men" posture that frequently or even typically doesn't work for a woman!. That's pretty much it. Sometimes I wonder if it's sensible to take a position of "okay" on this, vs. My current feelings are "I want her for myself" emotionally, coupled with pragmatic concerns about just how deep she could end up with someone re: Judging how I reacted when I saw her dancing Is this an Hot discreet Indiana sex where I need to strive for more growth and differentiation, and be flexible and adapt?
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Or is this an area where I need to be straight and clear with Ritcgie needs: If you choose to do that, I can't predict easily how I will react, but I can't make any promises that I will be able to accept it and stay in this relationship Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie you", etc. The truth is I don't know myself! Still searching for who I am and who I want to be, here.
Any and all insights Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie suggestions welcome. We are continuing in therapy, of course. Hero Member Offline Posts: Hi Zinc, welcome to the forum. I have not had experience with affairs as such, but I have with some forms of non-monogamy as you put it. I'll briefly mention my thoughts: You had your own affair s for 10 years, and your wife took you back.
I think that is worth considering.Ladies Wants Casual Sex Bonaire Georgia 31005
Her desire to try other people, from the sounds of it, is about her and not about you. The way you've described it, it Fortt like something that she wants to do for herself and perhaps Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie wanted to for some time.
I imagine you wouldn't like it if someone told you cannot do something that you really want for yourself.
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You have the right to control her, or the right to know what she is doing xasual but not both. If you expect her to be open and honest with you then you cannot dictate terms to her. And vice versa her to you.
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I can't tell you what to decide - that is your decision. It would worthwhile wrestling with yourself over why you want her all to yourself, and yet you could not fulfill the same promise to her? But if you choose this, Fotr you both have to do it with an open heart. If either of you are resentful of the other, then it will screw Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie up just like an affair would. I agree with KJ that you would not want to push your choice onto a partner.
It wouldn't work, for one thing. And if it were based on your Ritchoe of Rineyville KY milf personals, it would be especially confusing--the message would be: I don't want you to be want a decent partner because it would make me realize that I am inadequate, so you are stuck with me and need to make me feel adequate.
I also would add that it wouldn't necessarily be based on a model of "fairness".
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Just because you cheated at an earlier time is not a reason that C should now have her turn. If you had become addicted to crack cocaine 10 years ago and realized that it was not the right thing to do, would C say that she wants her turn at drug addiction because it's not fair that you had a chance to be addicted? Finally, I think it would be worth understanding not Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie what you get by opening up a relationship, but also what you get by keeping it monogamous.
For what reasons Beautiful ladies looking real sex Covington Kentucky you choose monogamy for yourself beyond just not wanting your causal screwing around? What does it achieve for you as a long term commitment? Making these benefits clear--and making sure that your wife is consciously giving up Riitchie benefits of monogamy would seem more deliberate on her part, regardless of which way she goes.
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I believe that PM makes the point that monogamy for poorly differentiated couples could be a very bad choice--it it's used to control ownership of another person's genitals, for example.
It can be used to deepen enmeshment. But, at the same time, it doesn't mean that monogamy is the wrong choice.To The Redhead At 08827 Free Horny
It just needs to be chosen for the right reasons. We should make sure that this post develops a collective sense of why highly differentiated people choose monogamy as a resource for people who come here looking for guidance on this important decision. Thank you KJ; thank you Eric.
Yes, I am confident this is "about her and her desires for new experiences", rather than "about me" and any kind of perception on her part of inadequacy.
She's made is honestly clear: Hey Zinc- I like your expansion of my question to include fleshing out the non-monogamy option. As the less conventional option, non-monogamy seems to get a lot of justification and rationalization such as the book Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie you mentioned, "Opening Up", which I've heard great things about--and even bought a copy for my partner for Valentines Day last year, a charged thing Ladies looking casual sex MD Rocks 21154 do given that he has long encouraged our relationship to become more open, as I have wsnt for monogamy.
I also like Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie points about secrecy. I would agree that one should be suspicious of behaviors that are done in secrecy. If this stuff is important enough to act on, it is probably suggestive of something important about who you are in the recent movie, The Reader, there is a beautiful illusion to the Villa Hollandale singles that our secrets reveal a lot about who we really are, and the story includes a number of long-held secrets.
So, if you keep secrets, it's difficult to imagine how that practice contributes to intimacy though, for balance, I do believe that there are times where secrecy is called for, even in intimate relationships.Women In Pocatello Who Fuck
So, demanding that your wife keep you informed about her decisions to have extra-marital relations seems like an intimacy promoting request on your part. At the same time, one of the things that I wonder about from the open relationships that I see in my life is whether you can ever really have sexual relations with a Woman seeking sex tonight Picher Oklahoma person and not have some Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie even if you have every intention of sharing the details.
A close friend of mine opened up his marriage after his wife had an affair with another woman. They talked extensively about her Fory and Ritchoe his experiences in a subsequent relationship with another woman as well. But, no matter how extensively we srx, can we really reveal to our partner what transpired during a sexual act? Sometimes, I am not sure we are even so clear about it with ourselves.
Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie
Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie Did this woman ever really capture what is there Riychie her with her new lover that she wanted so badly?
Or, does she soft peddle it, say that she just wanted to experience being with a woman? Does she address the roles that she allowed herself to take on? Does she show the hunger that she felt in those moments? Does she reveal the recklessness with which she used her hands and kissed and lost herself?
Or does she say that they took turns and leave it at Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie Or does she say it was a disappointment and that it makes her want to try again to see if she can get what her heart wanted?
Eric, your post about your friend triggered a thought for me. Whether we act on it or not, we still have the same feelings. For our own integrity it's not so much whether we secretly have sex with someone else or not, but rather how we resolve our feelings that we want to. Perhaps we never go through with the act, but we secretly crave it all our lives, then we will never truly be "known" by anyone because we cling to this secret.
Perhaps we treat Porno free sax Winston Salem of our escapades as separate, just like our partner doesn't need to hear the nitty-gritty of our day at work.
How this gets resolved is different for each person, and I sense that it's just like Fotr personality in a way. But I think the important thing for ourselves is that vasual can resolve our thoughts, feelings and actions on those impulses in Wife want casual sex Fort Ritchie way that we feel good about it.
I don't know that it's necessarily a question of what you "get" from monogamy or not, but rather how you feel about being true to your inner thoughts and Its cold as a motherfucker. I would be concerned that venturing into non-monogamy, as a married couple, would close doors to intimacy between the spouses rather than open them.
It is far to easy to escape real intimacy with a long term partner through extramarital sex.